The Paradox of Abuse

1 Samuel 25:13

New International Version

David said to his men, “Each of you strap on your sword!” So they did, and David strapped his on as well. About four hundred men went up with David, while two hundred stayed with the supplies.

For Meditation

It is interesting how our experience affects our thinking and actions.

King Saul had pursued David with a large army that became his experience. So, when Nabal turned down his request, David raised four hundred vigorous men to go after a single household, much like King Saul had come against him. How ridiculous!

We may hate our childhood experiences to the core and do not wish it on anyone. Yet, we perpetuate the same behavior upon others under us in our adult life. In our stressful moments, we realize we are acting like our abusive parents, domineering friends, or wicked bosses.

Take the example of abused children. They turn out to be the worst abusers as adults. I have observed how the poor children who roam the streets of some Islamic countries, begging for their cruel Marabous—Koranic teachers—crave the authority of their masters and want to grow to become like them. Many of them grow to maintain the oppressive system they must work to dismantle.

When David felt offended by Nabal’s rejection, all reason left him. Godly counsel disappeared, and the only thing he could call on was his cruel experience with King Saul—to raise a large army to obliterate a small household because of a perceived offense by one person. That is where Jabez becomes a role model for every child of God (1 Chron 4:9-11).

Jabez had a terrible childhood experience and hated it. He prayed to God to keep him from all trouble and pain (10), and God granted his request. The Holy Spirit calls Him more honorable than his brothers (9).

Maybe you are living the life of someone by close association and hate it. I pray the Lord to make you be like Jabez, and by the grace He accords you, avoid the situation of David when Nabal provoked him.